He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
