Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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