He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
