TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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