So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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