Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
