It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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