Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So many bounce houses so little time
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
