Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
