whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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