Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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