Little spoons don't ask big questions
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
