How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize