So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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