where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
