Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize