I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
