so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
