Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
