i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
