hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
