Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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