Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
