There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
