I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
