You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
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