You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I don't deserve a penis
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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