Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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