Have you finally orgasmed yet?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
