you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
barbara walters just said penis...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
