Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
