Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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