Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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