His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
