that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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