sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
