ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I pour the whiskey from now on
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
