I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
