Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
