told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
