Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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