I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
