So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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