one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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