I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
