Don't you send me to vm
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
