Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
