A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
