you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
