you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize