I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
