marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
NoShamevember. You game?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
