u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
