my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize