just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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