You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize