Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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