The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
