apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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