Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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