You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize