There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize