Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
