I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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