Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
