so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
